ONLINE COUNSELING FOR SELF-ESTEEM IN CA & FL
Find freedom from the inner critic.
Stop the Compare and Despair cycle—You are WORTHY now!
Do you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others and then feeling that you are falling short?
Does scrolling through social media leave you with twinges of sadness?
Are your efforts for self-improvement an exercise in self-contempt and self-criticism?
Is there an underlying sense that something about you is wrong and that you don’t belong?
Let’s work together to find a new way forward.
The Comparison Trap
Sometimes it feels like it just comes out of nowhere. You are feeling fine about things, but then you miss a deadline at work or you drive your child to school and realize that you completely forgot that it was pajama day (or something), or you scroll through your phone just killing time and suddenly you are hit with this feeling that you are not enough.
There is a constant chatter in your head never seems to stop. You feel like you are always falling behind in a race that you don’t even remember entering. There seems to be this neverending competition in all areas of your life. You are bombarded by the “-er” Someone is always thinner, prettier, smarter, kinder, and wealthier and you find yourself feeling less than and a nagging sense of unworthiness takes shape
Self-improvement or Self-contempt?
Do your attempts to make yourself into a “better” person just turn into a barrage of self-criticism?
You start with such good intentions- a new workout plan, healthier eating habits, a morning meditation routine– but something happens, life somehow gets in the way of the plan and before you know it this nasty mean voice shows up letting you know what a worthless piece of shit you are because you never follow through with anything. OUCH!
When the dreaded “not good enough” inner critic strikes it can wreak havoc on your life.
You might experience…
More fighting with your partner
Increase in anxious and depressed thoughts
Finding yourself in a pattern of overworking and perfectionism
Numbing out (overeating, drinking, shopping, Netflixing)
Struggling to manage your rollercoaster of emotions
It doesn’t have to be this way.
You don’t have to be bossed around by your inner critic. You can break free from the cycle of negative self-doubt and criticism. You can uncover the worth that you already have. When you are able to recognize your inherent worth, your relationship with the world changes. You find more ease in your life. You will feel more connected to yourself and to the people around you.
This mean inner critic didn’t develop to torture you (although it may certainly feel that way). Most of the time this voice represents a part of you that wants to take care of you and protect you from something. The cruel paradox is that shame is often born out of the fear of being rejected and abandoned, yet the pain and anguish of the shame keep us locked in behaviors that disconnect us from ourselves and from our loved ones.
The antidote to shame is self-compassion.
“Unlike self-criticism which asks if you are good enough, self-compassion asks ‘what is good for you?’”
What we’ll work on:
Cultivate and practice self-compassion
Improve connection to self and others
Create healthy boundaries
Learn to nurture and care for yourself without shame and guilt
Reduce anxious thinking
Develop a better relationship with yourself
FAQS
What others have wondered about counseling for self-esteem
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Self-esteem is how we evaluate our abilities, actions, and selves. Healthy self-esteem is found when we can stay grounded in a realistic appraisal of ourselves. Undervaluing ourselves leads to low self-esteem and often will cause people to not take action in their lives, have poor boundaries in relationships, and a host of other negative behaviors that can ensue. On the hand, overvaluing ourselves results in inflated self-esteem and more of a narcissistic attitude can happen in which a person may violate others' boundaries and assume a “better than” attitude in relationships.
Having a healthy self-esteem is the key to being in healthy relationships. When we can drop out of ‘less-than’ or ‘better than’ thinking we are better able to meet our connection needs.
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Self-worth is often considered a more global component of self-esteem. This comes from a place where there is inherent worth in all people. Unfortunately, many people have learned a different message somewhere along the way. This conditional belief in one’s own worth can disrupt the way that a person experiences life. As Brene Brown says: “If we want to fully experience love and belonging, we must believe that we are worthy of love and belonging… We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.”
Helping you uncover your inherent self-worth will help deepen the connection you have with yourself and with the people in your life.
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Practicing self-kindness and self-compassion doesn’t mean that you don’t still set goals or hold yourself accountable. It does mean that you stop engaging in beating yourself up and engaging in self-contempt simply for being the imperfect human that you are.
More questions? Check out my FAQs page.
