Online therapy throughout California

Relationship Counselling in Redlands for Individuals Seeking Healthier, More Connected Relationships

 
 

What It Feels Like When You Are Trying So Hard to Keep the Peace

You keep wondering why things keep landing the same way. You feel alone and discouraged, even though you work so hard to keep the peace. You try to be easygoing and accommodating, yet it still feels like you are disappointing people. You ask yourself why you cannot seem to get this right and why you react so strongly when you try so hard to stay calm.

 

Why Your Reactions Feel So Big

You spend so much of your time thinking about other people and their needs, trying to make sure things work out for everyone. Then one small comment throws everything off balance and you feel yourself spiraling. It is like all the pressure you have been holding in breaks loose at once. You react, you feel shame rise, and you tell yourself you should have been able to hold it together.

You are tired of this pattern. Tired of feeling too much, too sensitive, or somehow wrong. Tired of being seen as the one who cannot manage her emotions. What hurts the most is the gap between how hard you try and how misunderstood you feel. You wish people could see how much effort you pour into making things work, how deeply you want to feel seen and understood.

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone. Many women seeking relationship counselling in Redlands share the same mix of tenderness, overwhelm, and self blame. They care deeply and feel deeply, and they have spent years believing that this depth makes them difficult to love.

How Therapy Helps You Feel Grounded and Connected Again

I am Kathy, a STAIR trained and IFS informed therapist offering online therapy throughout California and in person sessions in Redlands, California. I help women who worry they are too much for others or too sensitive to be understood. Many of my clients live with relational anxiety and often read between the lines, searching for signs they may have upset someone. They overextend themselves to keep the peace. They self abandon to avoid rejection. They work hard to manage everyone else’s emotions while swallowing their own.

What Changes as You Build Self Trust

Therapy gives you a space to slow down and understand what is happening inside you. Together, we explore the parts of you that learned to stay small or stay quiet in order to stay connected. We build internal safety so your emotions feel less overwhelming and more like information rather than danger. You learn what internal boundaries feel like. You begin to recognize your needs without guilt or fear of being too much.

We work on emotional regulation in a way that honors your sensitivity. You practice communicating without shrinking yourself. You learn to set boundaries that protect your energy without losing connection. You discover how to trust your feelings instead of assuming they are wrong or excessive.

Over time, the constant scanning and second guessing eases. Clients tell me they feel more grounded, more understood, and more able to breathe. They begin to believe that they have the capacity to build the connected, steady relationships they have always wanted.

Relationship Counselling in Redlands Can Help You Feel Less Alone

Relationship counselling in Redlands can be a place where you do not have to hold everything together or minimize what you feel. A place where your sensitivity is seen as a strength, where your needs matter, and where you can show up as your full self without apology.

You are not too much. You are not the problem. And you do not have to keep holding this alone.

If this resonates, reach out. There is room for you here.

In our work together, we’ll create space for:

  • Making sense of the confusing emotions of grief — including the ones you might not feel “allowed” to have

  • Tending to the parts of you that feel stuck, numb, or overwhelmed

  • Listening to how grief lives in your body — and learning to offer it compassion, not judgment

  • Allowing grief to transform rather than consume you

  • Reconnecting with meaning, memory, and self-trust in your own time and in your own way

Whether your grief is fresh or decades old, clear or complicated, you don’t have to carry it alone.
There is space here for your sorrow, your strength, and everything in between.

“Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.”
— Quote Source

You’re allowed to grieve. You’re allowed to heal.

Grief isn’t something to “fix.”
It’s something to honor, to hold with care, and — over time — to integrate.

If you’re ready to explore your grief with tenderness and support, I’d be honored to walk alongside you.

FAQS

What others have wondered about grief counseling

 

  • Not at all. Our work begins wherever you are. Some clients come in ready to share their story, while others need time to feel safe, grounded, and connected before they can even name what they’ve lost. Your pace is honored here. There’s no “right” way to grieve.

  • Grief isn’t limited to the death of a loved one—though that is certainly part of it. I work with many forms of loss, including:

    • Death or estrangement of a parent, partner, or friend

    • Loss of identity or purpose in midlife

    • Relationship transitions or divorce

    • Chronic illness or caregiving-related grief

    • Grief for a childhood that lacked the love, safety, or stability you needed

    • The ache of unmet longings or dreams that no longer feel possible

    If it feels like a loss to you, it matters. And it’s welcome here.

  • That’s completely normal. Grief doesn’t always look like tears. Sometimes it looks like detachment, anxiety, brain fog, irritability, or feeling shut down. These are natural nervous system responses, especially when your loss is layered or unresolved. We’ll work together to gently explore these states, with compassion and curiosity—not judgment.

  • Grief lives in the body, not just the mind. You may notice it as tightness in your chest, fatigue, restlessness, or a sense of being “on edge.” Somatic work helps you reconnect with your body’s wisdom, and learn how to regulate your nervous system as grief arises.

    Parts work allows us to meet the inner voices and protective strategies that have developed around your pain—like the part that says “just keep going,” or the part that believes your needs are too much. By bringing compassion to these parts, we create space for healing, integration, and greater emotional freedom.tem description

  • It’s never too late. Whether your loss happened six months ago or 30 years ago, if it still lives in you, it deserves attention. Many people come to therapy in midlife with grief they’ve carried silently for decades. You’re not behind. You’re right on time.Item description

More questions? Check out my FAQs page.


You’re allowed to grieve. You’re allowed to heal. Let’s begin together.

Schedule a free consult